我怕我支持不住了。。。

I believe that everything happens for a reason.

People change so that you can learn to let go,

things go wrong so that you appreciate them when they are right.

You believe lies so you eventually learn to trust no one but yourself,

and sometimes good things fall apart so better things can fall together.

―Marilyn Monroe

我！
又在搞忧郁了！

到底这种感觉还要维持几久？！

我已经厌倦了这种生活！

我不要再走过多一次！

I HATE TO BE EMOTIONAL!!!


Daughter of Ares

突然想起好多往事，
很庆幸我认识你，
甚至能够和你一直走到现在。

失去一个陪伴，
我并不真的难过，
因为你就在这里，
而且你比其他人更像是我的情人 ^^
我们真的做过好多比情人还浪漫的事啊。

记得我们说找一个浪漫的男生好难，
所以我们干脆彼此自己互传情信..
反正没有机会和情人浪漫，
那就跟朋友一起浪漫吧!

很有意思的字们~

忘了从什么时候
一些曾经联系的人
即使聊天室掛着
却也不再说话了

忘了从什么时候
我们开始不去话聊
只通过状态更新了解对方

忘了从什么时候
即使看到想念的人上线
却也不愿主动说话

忘了从什么时候
半夜睡不着
依然摆弄手机
去填补那份空虚

当我们习惯隐身
当我们习惯沉默
原来是为了躲避失望

Currently in love with this song. The lyrics kinda emotional. I wonder if that's what makes me emo all this while?

Here's the lyrics =)
Enjoy it.

Payphone by Maroon 5

I'm at a payphone trying to call home

All of my change I spent on you

Where have the times gone

Baby it's all wrong, where are the plans we made for two?

Yeah, I, I know it's hard to remember

The people we used to be

It's even harder to picture

That you're not here next to me

You say it's too late to make it

But is it too late to try?

And in our time that you wasted

All of our bridges burned down

I've wasted my nights

You turned out the lights

Now I'm paralyzed

Still stuck in that time when we called it love

But even the sun sets in paradise

I'm at a payphone trying to call home

All of my change I spent on you

Where have the times gone

Baby it's all wrong, where are the plans we made for two?

If happy ever after did exist

I would still be holding you like this

All those fairytales are full of sh*t

One more stupid love song I'll be sick

You turned your back on tomorrow

Cause you forgot yesterday

I gave you my love to borrow

But just gave it away

You can't expect me to be fine

I don't expect you to care

I know I've said it before

But all of our bridges burned down

I've wasted my nights

You turned out the lights

Now I'm paralyzed

Still stuck in that time when we called it love

But even the sun sets in paradise

I'm at a payphone trying to call home

All of my change I spent on you

Where have the times gone

Baby it's all wrong, where are the plans we made for two?

If happy ever after did exist

I would still be holding you like this

All those fairytales are full of sh*t

One more stupid love song I'll be sick

Now I'm at a payphone...

[Wiz Khalifa]

Man work that sh*t

I'll be out spending all this money while you sitting round

Wondering why it wasn't you who came up from nothing

Made it from the bottom

Now when you see me I'm stunning

And all of my cars start with the push up a button

Telling me the chances I blew up or whatever you call it

Switched the number to my phone

So you never could call it

Don't need my name on my show

You can tell it I'm ballin'

Swish, what a shame could have got picked

Had a really good game but you missed your last shot

So you talk about who you see at the top

Or what you could've saw

But sad to say it's over for

Phantom pulled up valet open doors

Wiz like go away, got what you was looking for

Now ask me who they want

So you can go and take that little piece of sh*t with you

I'm at a payphone trying to call home

All of my change I spent on you

Where have the times gone

Baby it's all wrong, where are the plans we made for two?

If happy ever after did exist

I would still be holding you like this

All those fairytales are full of sh*t

One more stupid love song I'll be sick

Now I'm at a payphone...

一个维持很久的习惯。
很突然的必须把它改掉，
对一般人来说很容易。
对我来说，根本是件不可能任务。

打个比方，一个吸毒者的习惯就是嗑药。一旦没有磕，他就会浑身不舒服，痛苦得死去活来。以前，我不是一个很爱信息的人。通常最后一封信都不会回复。不知怎么搞的，现在的我每天都抓着电话，等待着它响。发出去的信也很期待有回复。可惜，每每发出去的信，只有少许的信会被回复@_@ 而且有时还得等到几个小时。等的那个过程，你知道有多么的痛苦，多么的难熬吗？我没有怪人的意思。只是，那种习惯很难戒掉啊！我告诉过自己给自己一点时间。很久了耶，萧莲青！你到底适应了没有？对不起，还没有适应啊><
我都不清楚自己需要多少时间才会去适应啊！怎么办？我很痛苦！受不了。可是我又不是嗑药哦@_@ 我真的很傻哦！很天真的以为这种习惯可以不需要刻意去改变。看来是我错了，我的思想好幼稚哦！都快二十岁了，还是那么的孩子气。是时候长大了。哈哈！

The first day to work is a bit nervous as I have not done this job before. To me, every new job means a new beginning. Start from zero.

6.45am

Woke up, brush teeth, had a bath, ate breakfast.

7.45am

Walk to friend's house.

p/s: This friend introduced me this job. Working hours: 8.30am - 5.30pm

I was so excited.

Y'all must be wondering what kind of job I was doing. It is paper-shredding job. Easy thing =D

All I have to do is take out the staplers and put the papers into the paper-shredding machine, the machine will do the rest. Piece of cake!~ Only, the pay is too low for me, I expected to be 80bucks or may be 70bucks but when the manager said 50bucks, I got a shock. I have no choice but to accept because if they never hire me, I do not have work. Am I correct? Yep.

All the time I was shredding but my mine flew somewhere else.

I kept on thinking about when can I go out for movie again; when can I go out for shopping again....bla bla bla..

There's no focusing on my works. I worked at a speed of a snail@_@

I miss my life before, I miss the friend who accompanied me always for movies and shoppings. Now that she's left for study, and I haven't have the slightest idea of where I'd be heading, my life is so boring.

I cannot focus. I do not have aims. I do not know what I should do. I'm a zombie@_@ A live zombie. *Sigh*

And I even think of routes, bus stations, shopping centres at Kuala Lumpur. Of where tos, places that can go. Just to accompany you. Will ask you by that time. I so lifeless@_@

Problems are still problems. I must face it and overcome it.

Peace and Love,

LianQing aka Daughter of Ares

把憋在心里的话全部倒出来真的感觉一身轻。
谢谢你！如果你没有逼我，我还是很重耶！
我根本就是还很忧郁。如今我不需要担心了。
虽然有时没收到回信还是会有一点点的不舒服，但是我真的感觉开朗很多了。
万分的感谢你！下次再见面我一定请你星巴克。
这次不管你喝得完还是喝不完，都得把那一杯喝下肚。不然就是不给我这个知己面子哦！
老妈说知己一个就已经很足够了。真的吗？
你觉得呢？

从来没有试过在面对困难时有人从旁开解。
我和家人没有这种什么秘密都说出来的习惯。
我们只要面对什么问题，都必须自己去解决。
曾试过告诉父母，结果得到的不是开导而是唠叨。
他们骂我为什么要这样啦、不要惹事啦，什么的。
明明就是那些人错在先，你们怪我。
我已经很累了。
试了又试，结果还是一样。
所以我都憋在心里不说。不过幸亏我有写日记的习惯。
要不然，我很可能已经在疯人院了。
哈哈！

没有了工作，又开始胡思乱想。
又开始忧郁起来。
我就是那么的爱搞忧郁。我也不想的～ 只是......
事情又多多。烦死了！都说我讨厌麻烦了嘛！你又很爱找上门！
跟你在电话里聊了差不多半个小时。
很庆幸能够认识你。虽然开导话语不多，唠叨比较多，但是已经足够了。
足够让我试着走出那个痛苦。
我会试着淡忘不开心的往事，然后迎接全新的未来。
我时常会这么想：如果我们早一点认识会是怎么样的呢？
如果你和我是同年出生的又会怎么样？
“未知数哦，莲青！”
“知道啦！”

是不是上了大学想变得更成熟？
我很怀念我们时常用其他好朋友没用的外号来称呼对方。
我很怀念我一有假期我们迫不及待就出来的日子。
你还会不时偷开我的面子书去偷看别人的profile吗？
你还会stalk我吗？
其实不是每一样我和她导致我忧郁。
你也有份哦！^^
我没有勇气带到嘴边而已。
你和我差不多一样。
我是知道的。

虽然你在远方，偶尔也会回来。但是我坚信我们的友谊是长久的。
谁叫你是我的知音啊？

友情上亮起红灯？

因为你我又回到原来的我。
我以为认识了你，我可以不必回到以前。
我错了。
你的影响力太大了，我无法自拔。
谷也跌得很深了。

"How do you want me to use that nickname again?"
"I just can't..."
"你会的，慢慢习惯啦！"
"我们人总是要学会习惯和改变的。"
"Don't gimme that shit okay? I am not gonna change it and I WON'T!"
"是啦！我知道你根本不能也不可能去改变或习惯。
唉......都不知要如何帮到你。"
"It is okay, you don't have to. It's none of your business anyway."
"I'll figure out myself."
"And then she didn't even bother to use that nickname again, why?"
"I just can't bring myself up to ask her."
"难道你就要这么忧郁下去吗？不可能一辈子都这么样吧？"
"Well, I will remind myself to watch first before I go any deeper next time.
Or, may be in the future." *Smirk*
"你gila啊！"
"Nope, I am hundred percent sure of that. People come and go in our lives.
Even your best friends will somehow betray you one day."
"It is only the matter of time."
"......"
"Speechless? Yeah, you better be." *Laughing out loud*
"天啊！怪人一个。"

You can have many best friends in life. Don't care they speak of different languages.
I was just the wrong people appeared at the wrong time in your life, that's all.
Call it a break, will ya?