Peanut

又回来马六甲啦！好开心哦！

又可以和家人在一起=)

是不是发现我用中文写部落呢？

感觉华语比较可以表达我内心的想法。

虽然华语错误百出。嘻嘻！

怎么题目是花生你问？

很简单啊！

我喜欢的人的外号叫花生。

刚刚在面书pm那里我叫了他Mr Peanut。

Peanut好听过花生啰！

他竟然叫我Miss Utar?!

给他炸到一下~~

他有主动信息我咧！不过发的是fwd message啦！

已经很好了。一封打气的信息让我充满活力一整天。

感觉越来越喜欢人家。怎么办><

什么时候又可以谈恋爱啊？

记得最后一次是中三那年吧！

之后就没有再谈了。

可悲吧？呵呵！

有很多话想对你说。

可是天天看你好像很忙的样子，

欲言又止。

打好了字，又删去。

原因是怕你嫌我烦。

等下得到的又是被泼冷水。

没办法，只好忍着啰><

每次alert了我，然后又没有消息。

说在看影片。

又不想打扰你@_@

我的猫咪几天前失踪了。

没人知道它去了哪里。

其中一只hamster昨天死掉了T.T

剩下一只。

曾经与我一起生活的动物，

失踪的失踪；死掉的死掉。

都不知是怎么回事？

虽说我天天虐待它们，

也不是真的伤害它们呀！

有时作弄它们反而让我感觉有亲切感。

猫咪，你到底跑去哪里了？

好想念你啊！

与她从超级好变成普通好。是真的吗？

有时还真想不通。

每次感觉有很多东西想告诉她。

可是每次想说时，又不知要说些什么了。

友情真的是那么的不好玩的吗？

一旦认真了，就被误会；

没有认真，人家当你屎一块。

好朋友，你到底在哪里？

Daughter of Ares

Hectic

Things went a little bit busy after my one week holiday in Melaka.
Assignments to hand in,
presentations to prepare.
Busy like a bee=)

And then the stupid place do not have internet, I have to go to my friend's to get internet access.
What on earth?
Felt emotional all of a sudden.
Why is this always happened to me?
Life's so not fair!

Hate.

Daughter of Ares

Hold On, Pain Ends

It has been a while since that incident last occurred.

We agreed to meet up and settle things.

But we never fulfill that promise.

I don't even have the courage to ask you out.

Bet you don't even care. I wish you would have cared.

You used to say you cherish our friendship, do you really mean it?

Do you really appreciate a friend, a bestie like me?

What if the words you said were all but a lie?

They were something that you said just to comfort me.

Just in case I got suspicious?

I want to know the truth.

The ones you said out loud and proven by actions.

I want to be like the past. No worries, just contentment.

Do you still remember the moments when we were together?

Do you still recall what our secrets were?
Do you still reminisce the things that we did?

What is wrong between us exactly?

Which part went wrong?

Could it be fixed?

Perhaps, it takes time.

Or, it can never be fixed.

Daughter of Ares

Red Lights

The past few weeks or months, perhaps, was excruciating.
I was totally in emotional mood and could not accept anything.
And then suddenly, I got used to it.
It's like I am no longer emotional and could see things clearly.
I spoke up to my friends and sister.
I hang out with them.
I did a lot of things just to forget the past.
And now, I am glad that I'd gone through it.
I am lucky I got friends and sister to back me up.
I wonder how are you holding up?
Perhaps you'd moved on like nothing happened.
Sister told me it was me who started all these.
I can't see it but the bystanders could.
The other observant know what's going on.
I was the one who got blocked from the truth.
Until someone else slap me up.
I am fully awake now.
I see things clearer now.
I am more mature and I will not repeat the same mistakes again.
Although I missed those days much, it wont return again.

I do not sure if we are still besties.
Aren't besties hang out with each other so often?
Like me and my close friends did.
Or your concept of befriending someone is different from mine?

They said no more second chance.
They said not worth it.
They said this and that.
Who should I listen to?
Should I listen to my own heart?
What was I thinking?
I am not sure of myself too...

Friends can be said to "fall in like" with as profound a thud as romantic partners fall in love.
~Letty Cottin Pogrebin
But then came in the parents. They said they were worried. They worried too much.
Am I the one to be blamed?

Each friend represents a world in us, a world possibly not born until they arrive.  ~Anäis Nin
Friends are relatives you make for yourself.  ~Eustache Deschamps
The best way to mend a broken heart is time and girlfriends.  ~Gwyneth Paltrow

Finding quotes to keep myself up all of a sudden.

After all, I am back to Level Zero.

Daughter of Ares

Distance

It's been a long long time since I last wrote my blog using English.
After talking with dad through the phone the other day, I found that my English is slacking off.
God if I knew it earlier, I would have find chance to fix it.
Hope it's not too late@_@
Well then, let's see where'd I left off.
I remembered something all of a sudden.
The moment you said those words out, I knew, it was over.
There's a saying that says like this, when people walk away from you, let them go. Your destiny is never tied to anyone who leaves you, and it doesn't mean they are bad people. It just means that their part in your story is over. It's true to me as I am no longer lingering on our story.
It's kinda wasted actually. But then, it's too hurt for me.
And now, I am keeping my distance so that everyone will be fine.
Perhaps it was the best solution ever.
I've changed.
I am no longer the old me.
And I am becoming more mature as matters go on.
But still, it's so hard to forget someone who gave you so much to remember.
That pain, it's not like planting a knife through my heart.
It's more than that.
People do change sometimes.
But life still goes on.

Daughter of Ares

Cold War

昨晚接近3点才睡觉，今天爬不起来。
*哈哈*
恩，11点帅姐突然打来，jio我去看戏。
当然去啦！那么久没和她们一起看戏了。
到了Dataran Pahlawan看昨晚没得看的《寒战》。
是一部香港戏，之前做trailer的时候我就说要看了。
结果turns out to be a very good movie.
很好看！郭富城好帅哦~~
就有那么一瞬间想要成为他的粉丝XD
没有啦！我的意思是就算已经老了，他还是那么耐看。
刘德华也是一样。
香港的警匪片通常很复杂的。
我也已经料到了。
稍微有点移动sitting position就不明白他们演到哪里了@_@
失败到……不过还好有英文字幕。加上我会听粤语。
不然我简直浪费钱进去看~

晚上和家人到New JJ去shopping，老爸说household things没有了。
到了百货公司，第一个destination就是Oreef =D
本来要买短裤，可是找不到喜欢的。
In the end买了昨晚看中的红色衣服^^
价格不便宜，我不要买的。
老爸说，你买了每次穿上它就要记得你爸爸对你的好。
妈咪讲我们小孩子都是被老爸宠坏的。嘻嘻！
她还说她不会买这些东西给我们。
其实是口是心非的，撒一点娇就买到了。呵呵~~

回到家，打开面书，看到了朋友分享关于天秤座的东西。
觉得一些文章很像我。好准！

『天秤座看似冲动直率，其实是性格天真可爱；天秤座看似没心没肺，其实挺会心疼人的；天秤座看似大条神经，其实是搞怪天才；天秤座看似热情奔放，其实对感情保守专一；天秤座看似坚强洒脱，其实很害怕失去；天秤座看似无理取闹，其实只想你懂他的心。』
『天秤座的情绪很多变，有时会带一点孩子气。上一秒也许还疯疯癫癫，下一秒也许就会很想一个人躲起来哭一会儿。有原因，但讲不清...天秤座的心墙不低，他们总是小心翼翼的想要把自己保护在硬硬的躯壳里。心事很少清清楚楚的讲给谁听。他们害怕被看穿，却依然期待着可以被理解。』
『親愛的秤子，不要抓住回憶不放，斷了線的風箏，只能讓它飛，放過它，更是放過自己。』
『当天秤座讨厌一个人的时候那就是一种绝对，天秤不会随便讨厌一个人，但是如果哪个人做的太过分，这个人会被秤子从心底彻底抹杀，如果这个人激怒了天秤，呵呵那么这个人就只能等着灾难的降临。』
『天秤座给人感觉开朗活泼，实际内向；喜欢发呆，尤其一个人安静的事后；向往自由，很烦被干涉；觉得自己是独一无二的，讨厌被人模仿；我行我素，有自己的原则；人缘不错，有很多朋友，但心里认定的朋友不多；自我感觉良好；不记仇，脾气说来就来，说消就消。』

了解我的好朋友肯定认定这些像我。
星座这种东西，真的有那么准吗？

Daughter of Ares

A day to remember =)

今天，VIPS终于回完来了。
约好一起出去吃晚餐庆祝Winnie的生日。(虽然过很久了XD)
本来吃饱后打算看戏，哪里知道座位满了。
没有办法，只好喝茶去。
找个地方好好坐下谈天。
到了老地方——Mori Cafe去。
讲了很多。互相update一下自己的生活。
然后再update。
笑到爆都有。

好久都没有这种感觉了。
一车满满5个人。
还打算第二天去看戏，涵莹不行啊！
要赶功课。
其实我也有功课要做。
懒惰而已。嘿嘿！
明天做啰！
反正闲着也没事，一个星期~

期待下一个outing^^

Daughter of Ares

I still can't get use to it!

After all I had been through...
我以为自己会比较成熟些。
以为自己什么都想开了。
其实并不是我想象中那样。
比想象的还要艰苦。
为什么其他人又不会那样只有你？
我不明白。
恨自己为什么上次过后不狠心些，
直接做个了断？
我根本放不下><

我很在意！
是，你忙，不会告诉我一声吗？
直接说你忙下次再聊。
很难吗?
通知一声至少我知道。
然后就不会胡思乱想了。
半天没有消息，
然后晚上才来解释。
如果换做我这么做，
你会喜欢吗？

没有人会喜欢自己的好朋友在与自己聊天聊到一半搞失踪。
4点多开始到晚上接近半夜才有消息。
我说我没事是骗你的。

我要怎么做才能彻底改掉这个坏习惯？
谁来告诉我？
要我彻底看开？
我需要时间><
我怕我快受不了了。

Daughter of Ares

The Habit

有些习惯是很难改变的。
以前都不会有的习惯不小心被建立起来。
然后突然要把它改掉？
怎么可能？！
况且有些事一旦习惯了，
就很难要再改掉。
有些名称、外号也是一样。
你可以选择不理会，
但是我就是没办法改掉。

But then, these habits will fade off eventually.
I could see the difference of before and after.
From hot to cold, then to nothingness.
This is life.

How I wish I could turn back time and never to make that silly mistake again.

Daughter of Ares