Silence is the best remedy

You could said that I am a weirdo, a freak or whatever names you can think of. I will not deny on that as I acted that way. Who would sleep with a small bear at the age of 21? *Laugh out loud* Things just don't seem to go along well with me. With annoying housemates, I hate it when they said something sarcastically towards me. I cannot stand these behaviors  Perhaps I don't get use to behaviors like this. Or even depends on who I am with. I prefer people more civilized and not stone-age@_@ They are willing to sacrifice their dinner over for games and dramas. What the hell? I do not know how much longer can I withstand this pressure. With another pressure already on me.

That was the reason why I cried, again. So badly. I can be very quiet at times, not wanting people to mock at me. I hate that feeling! That is why I chose to be not talking than talk a lot. Another reason was that I was afraid of people saying that I was noisy and annoying, and that, happened before. Now that I learnt from the past, I know when to keep the mouth shut and when to open it. Mute is the best way to prevent me from hearing emo comments about myself. I don't mind if you talk behind of me. But please do not let me heard of them. I swear I will be heart-broken.

When will my miserable life ends? When can I be happy again? I wanted to. But situations had prevented me from doing so.

Daughter of Ares

Midnight trip

It's simple. Me headache. With you completely ignoring. With you sticking to others instead of me, again.

With me backing away from. And me totally tried to ignore you. With you making me jealous again and again. What am I gonna do? I am always upset. I hope to not care. I can't bear it anymore. Could someone tell me how to do? Or what should I do next? To completely loss memory? You betcha!

Despair.

Daughter of Ares

Bad day

Perhaps we shouldn't be so good in the first place and I will not have to be in the situation I am in now. I half hoping that what you had said was true. But then I realize I might not the only one you can count on anymore. We both have our own characters and tempers. May be you haven't seen mine how. It's because I do not show it out loud in front of everybody. Only close friends will know my true colours. Even some of them didn't have the slightest idea that I am like that. And yes, I am being jealous, but that does not mean I accept her attitude, may be her pattern is like that and others can accept it, to me, I can't. The first time we met, she's not friendly at all, can't you at least talk something? To show your friendliness? What was I back there? A glass?! I don't blame you of being rude but then I don't like the way you acted. Typical KL people may be? Pffft... I can be really nice, likewise, please do not stepped on my tail or else I swear you will pray that you wouldn't wanna see me again. I am making myself clear.

I used to think if I am busybody enough to care of your stuffs. You might not like it. And that's what I decided to do. To not being busybody anymore. Figured out you won't blame me also since that you let go so fast. I am sorry for what I had promised before. I am afraid I cannot fulfill it anymore. All in all, it's over.

Writing out my feelings aren't good either as I always fear that I might offended someone. But then, I really can't take it anymore. Why must my life be like this?!

Starting a new day with new life and hope!

Daughter of Ares

Books!

こんばんわ。
It means good evening in Japanese=) Don't get pissed off, I am learning Japanese language here. *Laughing out loud* One gotta practice more in order to sharpen your skills. That's what I am doing now. I hope that in the future, my efforts are not wasted just like that.
Well, I had been missing in action, again due to my laziness and busy-ness.
Stayed at Rika's in Subang for 5 days long, the idea was impromptu on Monday, I was so boring at home and wanted to travel around, again! I thought of staying at Sab's, but then I realized that her bed is a single bed, and she's now so friend with her housemates, and her that housemate to me is so not friendly (no sense of friendliness@_@) and then she will be busy with her assignments and k-pops and wouldn't be available for me (what a friend@@), bla bla bla... So I opted the idea out. And so happen that Rika agreed to let me come over, so I had started my "journey" without letting Sab know I was there, because even if she knows I am there, will she be able to meet me up? Nah... So I never tell her, but until we met at the bridge, it was so dramatic, she was coming down from the stairs while I was going up the stairs, my heart skipped a beat when I saw her. I wonder what she was thinking by that time. *LOL*
I enjoyed my stay at Rika's. Although there are two of them, but they still mix me in without letting me feel that I was alone. I enjoyed that moment=)
And I went back on Friday morning to continue my life, again.
But then after class that day, I headed home. And so I am in my home sweet home now~
I missed my family a lot! Sadly I gotta go back again tomorrow..

I will be back home soon again.
Waiting for the moment to arrive.

Patience is a virtue.

Daughter of Ares

日曜日

在日文里，星期日不叫作星期日，是叫日曜日, Nichiyoubi。学了日文，一整天头脑都是日文。把自己弄糊涂了。呵呵！恩，又一个星期日过啦！闷死了…
两天没联系了。咱们宣告over了。唉… 最近一直emo, 涵莹又不知怎么的一直bad mood... 那天还被她给骂了tak boleh pakai耶！认识她那么久从来没看过她发那么大的脾气。好恐怖哦><

一直以来我以为我的好朋友们就在身边，
现在，我犹豫了。我不知道自己的好朋友是谁，真正可谈心的又是谁。
可以久留的是谁，愿意陪我渡过难关的又是谁？
大家都有自己的生活这我知道，好朋友不是这样的。
也许我真的tak boleh pakai吧！一直做错，一直被骂，一直被贬。
做人真的那么辛苦吗？我真的没有用吗？
被利用了还无所谓真的可以吗？
为什么我不是生活在动漫里？有幸福美满的结局。那该多好啊!

一个人久了思想会变得很负面吗？
有苦难言，谁来听听我的心声？
我又能持续多久？

一个人原来可以那么自私的。他尽然因为要省那几十块而说让我自己付大房的五百令吉！
我一度还以为他是个可以交朋友的人，看来我又错了。
你那么自私为什么还是有人愿意和你做朋友呢？Face problemか。
或许没有真正了解你所以不知道你是这么一个人吧！我真的看错你了！
要说我小气都好，总之，你是不可能成为我的朋友的。
我就是要与你有个界限，就算她怎么与你再好。我无权干涉也不会再干涉了。

等着瞧吧！总有一天我会骄傲的大声说，我完全放下了！

Daughter of Ares

Introduction

はじめまして。

学了日文开始喜欢用它们，那样就不会忘记了。

This post is specially dedicated to a best friend whom I would like to win back our precious relationship.

不觉得那样放着让它塌很浪费吗？也许你没有那份心意想去补救了，但是我还是想挽回呢！我看不惯现在的我们，总是没话题，随时吵架似的。以前总是时时刻刻惦记着对方，可能那个时候你还没有上课，所以还有闲情（粤语）跟我聊天、疯等等。现在不同啦，你又忙，又有assignments要赶，又要看你的偶像，又要跟屋友出去等，肯定没有多余的时间跟我这个那么遥远的人联络啦！庆幸的是至少咱们还有聊聊天，那些都是我厚着脸皮去找上门的。有时候得到的是no reply不然就是态度冷淡。有几次我很不开心，很不爽为什么只有我会得到这种待遇？我有想过放手，翻脸什么的。但是我就是狠不下心。朋友教坏我要怎么对付你，但是那些点子都被拒之门外了。

每次都一定会有新的东西可以讲你的。我很唠叨的。一个很久的东西也可以拿出来讲到天翻地覆。别人听了都觉得烦。呵呵！但是我就是放不下！我就是太执着了！我不想与一个本来应该成为挚友的好友疏远，我不要放下！我想清楚了，生活，还是继续过；我还是会不时不时与你联系，不管你喜欢或不喜欢。我没有干涉你的私生活了，对吧？那是很辛苦才做到的你知道没有？我们也不再天天聊天了。那个也很难才做到的你知道没有？我其实很想不通是什么让我们变到现在这种情况的。我很想知道原因，但是我不知道！没有人可以告诉我！我有时对事情是很看不开的，没办法啊，这就是我。或许咱们还有摸不清的底。久而久之就会摸清了。到时可能就是真正的bff了。好期待哦~

要让你读到这篇或许又要等上一段时间。

没关系，我可以等。

或许你看了可能不会给什么反应因为你厌倦了我。

没关系，我会永远默默地等下去。

吾友，我等你！

どうぞよろしく　おねがいします。

『I know it’s hard to remember, the people we used to be.

It’s even harder to picture that you’re not here next to me.』

『When I think back, the things that threw us off track.

We handle like a heart attack cause we didn’t see the light.』

『From this moment, forget what we were scared of.』

Daughter of Ares

Japanese Midterm

Hey-yo guys! M.I.A for quite some time and reappear again=) Well, tests are coming one by one this week and I gotta get prepare for it. I had my Japanese midterm yesterday afternoon. It was harder than I thought! Oh my god! But then I will continue to strive on! Wish me luck~

Daughter of Ares