Worst July Ever

Regretted of putting Moody July instead of Worst July. I do not expect this July to be so unlucky! Pressure at work; the unfairness at home; the tension feeling of taking my P driving license. I failed everything! Can you believe that? I am not the bad ones but count as the moderate ones. But how could I fail?! My mind kept on replaying the images of how I could fail@_@
I just can't accept it! Gosh!

And then there's loads of house chores for me to do instead of breaking them up for all of us. It is so not fair! Why am I the only one should do all those house chores? Others are old enough to help too! It is not about she has to study or what. It is about having my own private time. After started working, again, it took almost half a day of mine and then gotta continue those annoying and tiring house chores.. How can I have my own private time?

Life is so not fair...

Can't life be any way simpler?

More and more annoying things coming up as I grow older and older. It is simply annoying. Tonnes of things gotta settle before enrolling into a local university. Certs, photocopied identity cards, etc...so much to do in such a little time. Sometimes, I felt like running away from all these annoying stuffs. Run to a place where there are no worries, no suspicions, no guessing going on. Let me lead a simple and carefree life. May I?

Stressed out these days, with no one to turn to. Not even my bff. I have my own life, she has hers too. Can't depend on her 24/7! No! Plus, she does not have to attend to me 24/7 too. Although I admit that I got frustrated whenever there's no replies from her. It'll ruin my whole day. I got worried easily and worried too much@_@ I am so not me. What had happen to me? I do not depressed that easily. Before I started working, I am a very carefree girl; after I started to work, I became sentimental@_@

My point of view towards sentimental:
-an old lady sitting on a rocking-chair
-a poet in deep thoughts
-a guy waiting for his right lady
-a me got emo-ed all day!
What the hell? *Laugh out loud*

And with those annoying and troublesome university stuffs that I have to settle, I became more and more hot-temple. I get angry fast. I get bored fast. I am so lame! I hate it when dad and mom kept on asking the same questions which I hell do not know how to answer@_@ I hate it when they kept on repeating their same questions almost everyday. I just hate it... Damn! This university intake thing is making me mad and they kept on urging me to speed up my process. How to? How can? I have to work from 2pm to 6pm every weekdays! I have only morning period to do all these annoying stuffs! I am not superwoman. I do not know everything! Please stop asking questions which I do not know how to answer. Please stop bothering me...

When can all these annoying stuffs ended?
Even writing diaries in the middle of the night can't help now.

Daughter of Ares

Moody July

Got very depressed after knowing university results. They said it was a bad-luck day, they called it The Black Friday because it was July 13th, and it was a Friday. *Lol!* Well, it's not that bad luck for me. I was overreacting. I got jealous people got nearer universities instead of me. Sometimes, I thought that it's best for me to stay further. Away from my miseries; away from what I dear the most. Perhaps, there will be a brand new me after 4years. Who wouldn't? There'll be changes. Sure is.

Um...since THAT incident. Someone got tired of people who break promises. Someone hated it much. No matter who's the person. Since someone do not like it that much, that someone would not follow this pathway. Someone will always be extra careful when comes to making choices and decisions. And so, I really hope nothing will happen to that someone@_@ Well, what to do. *Sigh*
Like I said, life is not a bed of roses, there's highs and lows. People come and go in your life. You cannot do anything to stop them. Unless they truly heart you. This is me talking when I am still a free person. Every thing will changed when I started my university life. I wonder if by that time, will we still have time for each other? Seeing that now had gone off the track. I am the one who is still supporting the unseen pillar between us. And honestly, I am getting tired of supporting it. But I do not want it to crumble, what should I do? There's no other pillars supporting it. How?

Thinking too much will only brings you sorrow.
I used to get emotional a lot.
Then and now.
I thought after I worked, I became tougher.
I was wrong, about it, again@_@
Damn!

Daughter of Ares.

Some kind of fate...

Well, it's been a while since I had stopped using English blogging. Miss the days when I was using it. Perhaps I shall use it back. So, welcome back=D

Um, the university choices came out last Friday and it turned out to be happiness and sadness for everyone, me either! I got the course I longed for but got the university I wouldn't hope for@_@ It was my first choice actually. You might said that I am acting not contentedly. Yes, I admit that I am not contented, I blamed myself for choosing such university without thinking twice. I blamed the government for not choosing the right university for me. The ones I wanted. The ones which are nearer. Too bad it's too late for all these dramas. It'll just make me like a biatch. *Laugh out loud*

I still can not convince myself that I got that university. What I wanted was a nearer university, that's it, simple as that. Why can't I get it? You see, the part of me which is not being contented again@_@ I am sorry for acting this way. It's just me. After knowing the result, I am not being myself. I got irritated easily; I got annoyed easily; I got bored fast; I am behaving in such a way that I don't even realize myself. I got depressed. I emo-ed.. But I have no one to turn to. Nobody will understands it. Not even my closest friend. I guess I could use a little more of time to suit myself, to get back on track. I thought that I had recovered from the emo-ness when you left. I was wrong. I am not actually. I got a second wave== Worsen... I am suffering. In front of friends and family, I got no choice but to put on a mask. So that no one will realize. I do not know myself now. How could I?

Life is not a bed of roses. You can't expect the way you wanted always. There will be changes all the time. And life isn't fair always. Only you yourself can help yourself.

Daughter of Ares

It's just too meaningful!

最厌烦的感觉
不是成为陌生人
而是逐渐陌生的过程。

在乎，才会乱想。
不在乎，连想都不会想！

无意间发现了一些秘密。
但是又说不出口。
你教我怎么办？
不可以告诉任何人......
还是让它陪我一起到进入棺材那一天吧！

Meeting you was damn wrong in the first place.
Closer to you was my foolishness.
Notice you was my blindness.
Extra care was a mistake.
All in all, I shouldn't have...
I was wrong.

Waddya think?

不知道我们这样算什么
有时候觉得我们像是朋友
有时候感觉好像比朋友更多
有时候又觉得你整个像个陌生人......